


Nighttime Anxieties

by curiousscientistkae



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Future AU, family au, well kind of fluffy there are fluffy moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21538630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiousscientistkae/pseuds/curiousscientistkae
Summary: Glimmer and Adora are new mothers with a baby girl, Harper. Adora loved the idea of having a child but after she has arrived, fears and worries start to overcome her. She has no clue what it is like to be a mother and begins to feel she might have gotten in over head.
Relationships: Adora/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Kudos: 26





	Nighttime Anxieties

**Author's Note:**

> how long as it been since i did a longer fic lol? Yeah wrote this mostly in a day so might not be the best but hey, have it before depression takes away some creativity again. Just a side note, I did as per usual lowkey put in some headcanons in here of mine and if you have followed me long enough like on tumblr you know them. If not, the one I will say is I may have at one point used ‘they’ on Adora cause I HC her using she/they pronouns and I was like eh, I’ll leave it. So those are meant to be in there :v. Anyway, enjoy

Adora looks down at the newborn infant in her crib. Her daughter sleeps soundly in the mid-afternoon light. Nestled in a soft, yellow and purple blanket, Harper has nothing to worry about. So far in her short life, she has only cried a few times. Glimmer has warned Adora not to get too comfortable. It could change in an instant. Whatever the case, Adora also was told to take everything one step at a time. Enjoy the peaceful moments like these.

Harper has become one of the greatest things to ever happen to Adora. On that same list is when they first met Glimmer, then falling head over heels for her, starting to date her, and then of course marrying her. A lot of that took some time to wrap her head around like what it meant to ‘tie the knot’. But it has become worth it in the end. Eventually after marrying the queen of Brightmoon, the topic of kids came along and here is their daughter. A tuft of dark blonde hair, purple eyes, and tanned skin. So precious. So cute. So... _ perfect. _

Adora still recalls the excitement that coursed through her body when Glimmer told her they were going to become mothers. Their joy got the better of them so much so, when they picked Glimmer up and spun her around, it was so fast that both nearly fell and hit the ground hard. Glimmer had to quickly use her wings to keep one another up right. For nine months, Adora waited and waited. That day finally arrived a week ago. 

But something else lies behind that joy. Adora attempts to reach out and stroke Harper’s cheeks but stops, inches away. Her hand hovers over the infant for a moment before she draws away. Adora sighs and holds her head in her hands. 

How do you  _ be  _ a mother anyway? Adora has no clue how to. All she had that could count as a mother was Shadow Weaver and look what happened. There is no way in hell she ever wants to inflict the pain and abuse she had to suffer through onto her own child. All they want to do is protect Harper and give her the best life possible. But how can she do that when she never got that herself?

Sure there is her mother-in-law to look towards now. Even if Glimmer and Angella have their moments, their bond is strong and loving. Before Adora married Glimmer, or even dated her, Angella filled that motherly void in Adora’s life. But even with her love and care, that uncertainty still lies inside of Adora, crushing her chest every time she thinks about being a mother. So many thoughts swirl around her head. 

What if no matter how hard she tries she ends up like Shadow Weaver? What if she puts too much pressure on Harper and makes her feel her worth is based only on how good she is? There already will be enough expectations on her if she chooses to be queen. Adora does not want to add anymore. What if she becomes like Shadow Weaver towards Catra? She knows it is wrong, what was done to her best friend was horrible, but growing up she thought that was right. That that is what you did. So many 'what ifs'. Adora doesn’t want to fail Harper but she has no idea what she is doing or how to care for her properly. 

They do still have Glimmer. Glimmer knows what it is like to have loving parents. How to be a mother and how to do the absolute best to give her child the best life possible. But Adora doesn’t want to ask Glimmer a million and one questions or keep putting the burden of raising Harper on her shoulders. Gods, everything is such a mess. 

It’s not like Adora doesn't want to have kids. She loves them actually. They can be such a joy to have and some of the kids she has met say the funniest stuff or do the strangest things. Such curious balls of energy. She just guesses she got a bit in over her head now with Harper. 

“Adora?” 

Adora slowly turns her head. Glimmer has entered the nursery, looking concerned. The queen steps closer to her wife, stopping besides her. She looks down at Harper, who has kicked off her blanket in her sleep. Glimmer reaches down and pulls it back to her neck, keeping her warm during the winter night. She turns her eyes to Adora. “You okay, love?”

“I’m fine, hon...I just couldn’t sleep…” Adora tells her, 

Glimmer reaches a hand, stopping inches away from Adora’s face. “Can I?”

“You know  _ you  _ don’t have to ask.”

“I still just want to make sure. Is that a yes then?”

Adora nods. Glimmer’s soft, warm hand cradles her cheek. Adora twitches instinctively but relaxes immediately. Glimmer starts to gently rub her thumb across her face. That is when Adora realizes she has been crying. Sighing, she closes her eyes and presses her cheek further into her wife’s palm, sucking in the comfort that radiates off of her. 

“You know you can tell me what’s wrong. I’m always here to listen.” 

“I know. I just have no idea where I would begin.” 

“Start from wherever you can.”

Adora opens her eyes. Glimmer’s eyebrows are knitted together and her eyes stay locked on her. Gently, Adora pulls Glimmer’s hand off of her face and looks away. She holds herself, trying to figure out what to say. Even after all these years, her mouth becomes tight and dry when she attempts to talk about her past with Glimmer. Somehow, words begin to squeeze themselves out. 

“I’m...scared, Glim…”

“About what?”

“Being...Being a mother…”

“Adora. What do yo-”

Adora hears her step forward and feels her fingers start to brush her arm. She quickly pulls away. “I have no idea what to do, Glimmer. You know how I was raised. How it was like for me. And I know people say no one really is prepared for being a parent but...I am not at  _ all _ ready. I mean, I love Harper. I wanted her. I wanted us to be a family but I have no clue what it is to be a mother, let alone a  _ parent  _ because I never had one.

“What if I mess up or hurt her? What if I do something like Shadow Weaver did to me or Catra or anyone else in the Horde. What if I do something I learned from her that I still don’t know is incorrect? And what if I forget something? Sometimes I need you or something to remind me of things because I just can’t remember so what if that messes something up? There are so many things I am worried about that now that Harp is here. Before it was just waiting for her, she wasn’t here yet I didn’t have much to worry about. But now? Now? Here she is and I have no clue what I am doing!”

Adora gasps for air. She tightens her grip around her body in an attempt to stop it from shaking. Now, instead, it feels like her nails are about to draw blood. Her throat tightens, adding to her struggle to breathe. Everything is about to collapse around her. Her legs are quickly turning into jelly. 

Before they collapsed into a messy heap on the ground, something wraps tightly around their waist. The first thing that enters Adora’s mind is to flip the attacker over her shoulders but before her body can react, soft feathers tickle her cheeks. With the only light source dimly coming from the hall, Adora just makes out the large, lilac wings of Glimmer embracing her. The fight coursing through her body disappears in an instant and Adora becomes only held up by Glimmer’s arms. 

“It’s okay, Starlight. Everything is going to be alright. The fact you can recognize how you were brought up and how you want to break that cycle already is proof enough you will be one thousand times the mother Shadow Weaver ever was. I’ve seen you with the kids we have met at other kingdoms. You are great with them. You are going to be such a wonderful mother.

“I won’t lie. There will be bumps in the road. Just look at my mother and I. But I wouldn’t ask for a different one and I know Harper will feel the same about you. We all make mistakes. We all learn from them. Whatever comes, we will deal with it together and learn from it together. And no matter what, I am here for you and will help you in anyway I can. I love you, Starlight. And Harper loves you. Never forget that.”

Tears spill out of Adora’s eyes. Glimmer’s tightens her grip on her wife, keeping her close. Adora bites down on her lips, stifling her cries as to not wake her sleeping daughter. Anything that comes out is muffled and hoarse. Her body starts to shake uncontrollably. Glimmer dares not let go. 

After a few minutes of letting it run its course, Adora’s body settle’s down and her legs become steady. When her breathing calms down, she asks to be released. Glimmer obliges. Adora wipes off her face with her grey tank top. Glimmer somehow has materialized a tissue and Adora takes it to blow her nose. “Thank you.”

“Feeling better?” Glimmer asks. 

“I think so? Still unsure about everything but I don’t feel as crappy as before.”

“Good.”

Adora looks at Harper. Still asleep. Something tugs at her heart, telling her to go near her daughter, but she stays where she stands. Not right now. They aren’t about to wake her. 

“How about we go back to bed? Maybe we can figure out how to help you sleep,” Glimmer suggests.

“Yeah...Yeah. I think I just need some more cuddling,” Adora says. 

“I think I can do that just fine."

* * *

The cries of an upset child snap Adora awake. Quite literally. One moment, she is fast asleep, one arm dangling off her bed and the other tucked under her pillow, which has a small pool of drool on it. The next, she is upright and confused. 

“Hm...I’m up. I’m up,” Adora mumbles to herself. The cries bring her quickly into reality. Harper. Adora gives a slight groan before swinging her legs over her bed. “I’m coming, sweetie. Mommy’s coming.”

Adora stretches out her body and arms before riding her shoulder length, blonde hair of sleep. A baby won’t care much about her appearance but it helps to stir her from her slumber. Once awake enough, she walks out of her room and heads to the nursery. 

This is the first time Harper has cried at night since Glimmer has left. The queen has queen things to do and is out of Brightmoon for two weeks. Adora remembers Glimmer asking her if she was alright being left alone with their daughter but Adora had reassured her wife everything would be fine. And so far, it has been. Whenever they needed help, Adora just goes to Angella. Her mother-in-law has been more than helpful. But now in the middle of the night, Adora really only has herself to rely on. 

Glimmer will be home eventually and Adora  _ was _ hoping Harper wouldn’t wake in the middle of the night but life loves to mess with you. The nursery is just across the master bedroom and it only takes moments for Adora to push open the door to her daughter's room. Harper is wide awake, kicking off her blanket and squirming around in her bed. Only a few weeks ago, Adora was in here crying in Glimmer’s arms. Now, she is alone. 

“I’m here, Harper. Mommy’s here. What’s the matter?” Adora asks, knowing she won’t get an answer. She walks up to the crib and picks up her crying child. She quickly checks if she needs a diaper change, which is ruled out. Adora holds her daughter close, rocking her in her arms. “You hungry? You don’t usually wake up in the middle of the night to eat, though. Or did you just have a nightmare? Poor thing. Nightmares at your age? They are not fun, aren't they, eh? Already maybe found something in common.”

Adora starts to walk around, attempting to soothe her daughter. She stops at the window and looks at it. The night is clear, not a single cloud in the sky. Only the bright stars and moon look down at her. Some days, she is still amazed about the world overhead. 

“You know, you’re a lucky little baby. You don’t have to worry about a war or if you will make it out of a battle alive. Your Mama and I and your Uncle Bow and all your other ‘aunts’ and ‘uncles’ worked and fought hard so we all could live a peaceful life. I can only hope it stays like this forever. I don’t want you to grow up dealing with anything like that.”

She pauses for a moment. Harper continues to cry. Adora keeps rocking, whispering every now and then that it is okay. That nothing is going to hurt her. But this does not calm her daughter. Adora sighs, not knowing what else to do. Glimmer seems to have a way to calm Harper down. When she gets home, Adora has to ask what her trick is. 

Adora looks down at her daughter. She feels tears starting to well up in her eyes.  _ No, no. Don’t cry now. You have to be strong for her. Pull yourself together, Adora! You can’t cry while Harper is crying. That will only make things work. _

But it doesn’t work. All her anxieties from before come back in a flash as her tears run down her face. What is she even doing? She should have told Glimmer she will need help. What will Glimmer think when she comes home to find out Adora couldn’t calm their daughter down? What a mother she is. She never should have agreed to have a child with Glimmer. Hell, never should have married her if she can’t handle this. Some wife she is also. Is there anything she is good out without messing things up?

“I’m so sorry, little one. I have...no idea what to do right now. You’re crying and here I am doing the same. Probably is not helping you sleep at all. Glimmer is so much better than I am at this stuff. She knows what to do but you’re stuck with me now…”

Adora carefully holds Harper so she can wipe off her face with a hand. She has to recompose herself. Even if she doesn’t do it for herself, she has to do it for Harper. Once she is calm and asleep, Adora can go back to her bed and cry herself to sleep. But a soft sound catches her attention. 

Harper’s whines have lessened. She still whimpers and tears still appear in her purple eyes, but she isn’t screaming her head off anymore. Harper just looks up at her mother, waiting. For some reason, this makes Adora chuckle. 

“Did you stop crying to try and cheer me up? Aren’t  _ I  _ supposed to be doing that. You are an odd one. But I guess that makes two of us since you mommy is technically an alien.”

Adora begins to gently rock Harper again. She still whimpers but her eyes start to become heavy. A smile comes across Adora’s face. “You want to know why I have no idea what I am doing? I didn’t get to have a mother growing up. You are lucky. You got two! And at least one of us has some idea about what being a mother means. But...I need to try, right?

“You are so cute and precious and wonderful and there is so much unknown about you. Who will you be? What will you like? Will you take on the role of being a queen or going on a different path? Your destiny is for you to decide and no one else. And whatever you do, I am going to be right there by your side, supporting you all the way.”

Harper’s eyes shut and her breathing slows down. Adora walks back to the crib and puts places Harper down. She carefully covers her up, keeping her warm. Adora watches her fall asleep. After a moment's hesitation, she reaches down and caresses Harper’s cheek. 

“I might not know what I am doing but...I promise that I am going to do my best. I have your mama’s help thankfully. I am going to mess up, I know that for sure this isn’t just the anxiety speaking. I’ll learn from them and make things right. You are one of the most important persons in my life and I will do anything for you...I love you, Harper.”

Adora bends down and places a kiss on Harper’s forehead. “Sweet dreams, my little princess.”

* * *

Something touches her shoulder. It is gentle but still sudden. Adora opens her eyes, throws up her hands, and jumps out of her chair. Her mind races to try and figure out what is going on and who has touched her. “Who there? I’m not gonna go easy on you!”

“It’s me, love! Glimmer!” a familiar voice says. 

Adora wipes the sleep from her eyes and looks in the direction of the voice. She is surprised to see her wife standing in front of her in the nursery. “Glim? What are you doing here, hon? I thought you were still going to be away for a few days?”

“How many days do you think I have been gone?”

“I don’t know. Like...eight or nine?”

“It’s been twelve…”

“Oh...whoops…” Adora clutches the side of her head. “Sorry...But then, why are you home? Please tell me I remembered the two week part right?”

“It’s okay and yes, it was two weeks. But I was missing you and Harper a lot. I managed to get everything done early. The second I could go home, I did. What are you doing in the nursery is my question and not in our bed?”

Adora yawns and stretches everything out. She looks towards the crib and sees Harper is awake. She picks up her daughter and places her on her chest. “This little tyke was crying last night and I had to calm her down. I was kind of too tired to walk back across the hall to bed but I always wanted to make sure she stayed asleep.”

“Did everything go okay?”

“Took me a little bit, I don’t have the touch you have, but I got her to fall asleep. Might have cried with her...But everything is alright. Right, Harp?”

Adora nuzzles her daughter, who coos in response. Glimmer smiles and walks close to Adora to give her a kiss on the lips. “I told you you’d make a wonderful mother.”

Adora rests her forehead on Glimmer’s. “Thank you. I still have a lot to learn but...I’ll figure it out. All three of us will. Together.”

“Exactly. I’m so glad to be back home with you two. You have no idea how much I missed you.”

“I think I do.”

Glimmer laughs. It then becomes Glimmer’s turn to yawn. 

“You must be exhausted, Glitter-Bug. You change and rest. I’ll make us some breakfast.”

“You sure about that?” Glimmer grins

“I’m not going to burn the castle down! That was one time I set the kitchen on fire. I’ll be fine. Go rest. Don’t make me lock you in the room.”

“Fine, fine! Just shout if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

Adora walks her to the bed room. Once she is settled in, Adora leaves with Harper to get ready for the day. 

  
  
  



End file.
